You are taking your last course in college and you simply must pass to graduate. It’s a big class. Where do you sit and what do you do? I would suggest that you would sit right in front of the professor and listen to him very intently, as you become a student of that subject with a goal in mind. That is the same intensity we try to train couples to use in their sharing time and we call it “Becoming a Student of your Spouse”.

Oneness is not automatic, but the result of shared experiences both good and bad. Think about it……How did the two of you fall in love in the first place? Did you share with one another for hours upon hours? For some reason we (especially men) forget this after we get married. The men usually clam up and especially do not talk about the bad things in their life and the women spend the little bit of time they can get from their husbands talking about the kids, the problems around the house. That is NOT what we are talking about here. Just like spending time with God, you also have to set a time aside in your busy day to spend quality time with each other sharing the way you feel. I have to train couples to do this in my counseling, as it does not come naturally.

James 1:19 says: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

It is an act of love to listen with eye to eye contact to what your spouse is sharing with you. Now that you know it, you will be blessed if you do this. One more thing…..mostly to the guys. When someone shares, do not try and tell them that they should not feel that way and do not try and tell them what to do the next time such and such happens. Just look at them, repeat what they said, and acknowledge that you understand. That’s all you need to do.

Sound easy? Try it. You will be amazed at how well it works if you can do it.